2005-03-11 - 11:09 p.m. I'm alone for the weekend. B went to his parents for the weekend. We couldn't afford a rental car this weekend so that meant I had to stay behind. ***** I spent the earlier part of the evening looking at a porn site because...well because I was horny, ok? Some allegedly hetero guys getting freaky. That's my thing lately...I've got this hetero fetish. Well as if "lately" is equal to "like a year now". I suppose me getting hot at the fantasy of a hetero guy is comparable to my het female friends getting hot at the idea of a homo guy. Conversion (even if momentarily). That makes us feel super-desirable and hot to be able to do that right? ***************** Now I am wired. It's 11:10 PM and my friends are either involved in something else or out of town. I want to go out and do something!!! ************* Well I have been drinking some left-over red wine. Quite tasty actually. Shiraz from Australia. Little Penguin I think. It is pretty good. ************************ I think we are going to Argentina next February with friends of ours. I spoke with my friend JG this afternoon and he suggested it which was perfect because it is on my "places that I want to go within the next 10 years" list AND we are only doing domestic trips in the forseeable future (San Diego, the Keys, Cape Cod and Puerto Rico, that I am currently aware of)which means we need some international travel AND it is South America (which is cool) but a very European, South American place, so really we are covering a couple of continents. Anyway I am excited. ************* Back. Just took the dog outside. Eerily (sp?)quiet on 23rd this evening. S'alright. Somehow very appropriate. I don't think I have ever mentioned that I hate my street. It is one of the main crosstown streets in Manhattan and it sucks. Due to the proliferation of bus stops it attracts A LOT of people. And more often than not we aren't talking about the pick of the litter either. I mean I am always interested in other people but as people also annoy me when I have to walk among them and interact with them it just isn't pleasant. I look forward to moving. ************ I think we are having RuPaul on our show sometime soon. I haven't told my S.O. yet but a friend of Ru's, whom I am friends with, has asked him to do the show and he seemed amenable to the idea. Should be interesting. Two drag hags on the same bill. Does anyone want to be on the show? We need more guests! ************* I am compelled to speak about sex right now. I love guys. I LOVE guys. There is this one guy, a porn actor who lives locally, that is just my near perfect type (Patrick Rafter or Johan Paulik being THE perfect guys) that I totally am hard for these days. The name is Damon DeMarco. He is just...mmmm...not too perfectly built, sort of "edgy" and funny as a fuck. Anyway he has become another fantasy of mine...true he's not hetero but he is taken (so the fuck am I!) so again the fantasy is of the unattainable. At least I am consistent. ***************** As much as I like having room in the bed I do not do well getting into bed on the nights that B is away. ******* Nothing else to say...call me if you want to go do something, ok? ********** "It's time to wind up the masquerade. Just make your mind up. The piper must be paid. The party's over...the candles flicker and dim...we danced and dreamed through the night, it seemed to be right, just being with him..." � �