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2004-12-17 - 3:09 p.m. Oh my god!!! You have no idea... Monday. Corporate Holiday Open House at the Waldorf. I hate these things and rarely will go but... We both got really drunk (an "open" bar, whilst seemingly a good thing on the surface is SO not a good thing). Originally we had planned to meet Krissy and her aunt (friends visiting from out of town for the taping of our Christmas show on Sunday) afterwards (their hotel was around the corner) - we had planned on having them come to the company thing but then noticed the security at the door checking ids - so anyway we alternately planned to meet them after. Ok...now I didn't realize how drunk I really was because we had been at a table with the these three old people who had sat down with us. We had a very spirited political discussion and what not for about an hour or so. Turns out they were party crashers!!! they didn't know anyone at the company but wanted to come into the party! Security came over (this is towards the end of the party - why bother?) and asks them to leave. So we leave and I still don't realize how drunk I am. We get outside and it hits me. I mean I am plastered (B is worse than me). I know there is a subway somewhere but I cannot remember where so I just start wandering west. No good. We have no clue. SO I figure if I can find Grand Central, we can get a subway home. We almost get there and B is like "I have to piss". I tell him to wait because we are almost there (we were on Park Avenue at the pedestrian tunnel that leads to right across from Grand Central). He says he can't and proceeds (mind you this is like 7:15 PM ish) to move to the side and unbutton his trousers and urinate. I'm mortified and tell him that I will wait up ahead. I am no more than 50 feet away. I think he is going to come over to me. Wait. A few minutes and I get worried so I walk back over to the corner he was in...gone! I think he has been arrested. I don't know what to think. But in my drunken state I determine that it is best to stand there because he may be in the area. I wait 15 minutes. nothing. SO I remember that he has his mobile phone (I have to REMEMBER this??) and I call him. Nothing. Now I am worried and angry. Then I get a call back. He's yelling that he is lost in Times Square he's scared and that everyone is staring at him. He is yelling at me because he says I left him. Just yelling and yelling and then...click. He hangs up. We go back and forth like this on the various phone calls until I get really annoyed and decide to go over to Krissy's hotel and cool down. SO I went there and hung out in their room (they must have been horrified because I cannot imagine that my words were coming out smoothly at this point, although I was trying very, very hard). I bitched and complained (which I am sure Krissy loved because I am not entirely sure she has ever really liked B). I tried calling him again but no answer. Finally (after maybe a half hour) I decide to leave. I walked home (also a bad judgment call as I was then drunk and BORED and on a long walk...leaving me with plenty of time to call people...I STILL haven't heard from two of my friends so I hope I didn't sound too retarded). In the meantime B called to tell me he made it home. I remember pretty much everything but it was all fuzzy-edged. I remember getting closer to my place on Second Ave and deciding to go into Subway to get a tuna sub and I swear I could barely spit out the words "tuna" and "spinach" "on white". I remember a customer in front of me looking at me like I was an escaped mental patient. I get home and he is all trying to be nice-nice now (but still annihilated) and I want nothing of it. We fight again and he goes to bed while I eat my sub in a drunk anger. It wasn't pretty. It was another one of those drinking nights that you look back on sort of laughing and sort of cringing. It was all SO stupid and unnecessary. � � 
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