2004-11-19 - 2:03 p.m. Tonight will be the last show we tape in our apartment. We decided, after booking a studio uptown for the taping of our �Holiday extravaganza� special, that all of our future tapings will be done in a studio. It may mean some hauling back and forth but it will be worth the sanity it saves me it completely disrupting our household. ********************* I cannot wait until the Thanksgiving break. My parents and nana are coming down to have dinner with us. This time they are staying in the City overnight, a first for them. We have booked them at the Gramercy Park Hotel. I think they�ll like the ambience even if the ole girl is a bit run down these days. Plus they will get to go in Gramercy Park, something I have yet to do. I know it doesn�t seem like much but I think they will be happy. Then on Friday, after they leave, my intentions are to sit my ass down, with plenty of food and drink and watch the new Golden Girls series one DVD set. That�s it. NOTHING else. Well, possibly a little nookie depending on the mood (not that Bea Arthur will get me hot�well, ok, maybe she will�). But otherwise, NOTHING else ALL DAY. ****************** I am hot for a guy at my gym. I mean I want this guy. I can taste this guy. I have had the hots for him for at least a year. Its to the point where I will purposely look in the other direction if he is around because I don�t want him to see I am doing this. I am afraid it will be too obvious now. I have run my eyes over his face and body so many times that it now takes longer to sink in as I search for another sensual, delightful temptation. I HAVE to look away! I have always been firm in my loyalty to B. I still say I would never cheat on him but sometimes, people like this, really push my fidelity to the limit. What would I do if this beauty were to demand I drop to my knees and worship his dick? After a workout? I mean WHAT WOULD I DO???? I like to think the answer is, smile, tell him he is beyond hot, turn on my heels and walk out the door and maybe go home and rip one off thinking about him. But would I? If I was faced with the circumstance�would I??? My point is�what good are our ideals if we don�t know if they will stand up when truly tested? I know, I know, ideals are our goals, the perfect. But really they are what we base our life on, our actions on. SO if they are completely out of whack from reality, what good are they? I am not saying that I would give in, but I just begin to question myself when I feel such a powerful attraction. They guy could be a total tool, an asshole, I don�t know. This is purely a physical thing. Eh�I am off on another nonsensical rant� Time to call it a day� � �